Anxiety sucks ass.

It really does. You see, like I explained a few posts ago, I'm a naturally anxious person - probably because I've always been a pessimist, so I think of everything that could go wrong, and that makes my blood pressure skyrocket and often makes me unable to concentrate on anything other than those worrywart voices in my head. Lately I've been having troubles falling asleep, and I stay awake for hours hearing my brain rush through all the things I have to do, and all the things I haven't done, and my future, and my past, and everything I've done wrong recently, and everything that could go wrong in the future.... ack! It drives me insane - and I just can't seem to quiet my brain. I try to distract myself by doing something else, but unless it's something that requires major mental or physical strength, I still hear those little voices in the back of my head stressing me out. And at some point, the voices turn into this hard lump in my chest, a feeling similar to dread, that stays with me all day long and far into the night. I've been having troubles concentrating on work lately due to this craziness, and due to unexpected circumstances, I've horribly behind on some projects, which just doubles my anxiety and makes me even less effective. Ugh. I need a vacation. But since it's quite possible my planned vacation for August is going to fall through (ugh, that's a whole 'nother can of worms that's keeping me awake at night), that's probably not going to happen. I should probably take up yoga or something.
Which reminds me, I always thought the whole meditation-relaxation-stress-relief thing was a joke, and that anyone could just sit cross legged and breathe deeply and relax for 10 minutes or so. HA! I was so so very wrong. In my desperation, I'm tried to just relax - calm myself - focus on breathing - picture the air coming in and out... but after 2 seconds of it, the voices rush back in and start screaming even louder to be heard. Damn, that meditation stuff is hard. I really don't know what to do - I guess part of writing this post was to vent (I apologize for having so many "venting" posts lately), but also to maybe get your advice. Anyone have any ideas on how to shut those godawful little voices???? I'm desperate here. Well, not nearly so, but I'm getting there. School will start in a month, and I cannot be in this state when I start. It will not bode well for my studying. Well, it's very late, much later than my normal bedtime, but I can't sleep (I bet you can't guess why...). But I'll do my best or lay in bed with my eyes closed until morning. Whichever comes first. :)