The tales of two pernicious pugs and their doormat.

Friday, March 7, 2008

All right, curious kittehs!

BE WARNED: THIS IS A LONG POST

Well, due to popular demand (okay, just one kitteh's demand), I'm updating you all on the status of my Brazil trip. And the answer is .... I don't know if I'm going yet.
I should probably explain. See, I'm going with my Ex - this was his Christmas gift to me. But the thing is, he's waiting to hear back from a couple job interviews, and they told him that they'd call him back the first week of March to let him know if they're interested and want to re-interview him. Great, huh? But the thing is, the second set of interviews they're doing is during Spring Break. And for the Ex, going to a job interview is more important than taking a trip with me to Brazil. So if he gets asked back for an interview, he won't go. And that means I won't go either. I love Brazil - I really do, but I don't want to be there by myself right now. I don't know anyone there, and I'd be somewhat limited in the things I could do, since it is a bit dangerous to be out after dark if you're alone and female.
Now, it's the end of the first week of March, and he still hasn't gotten a call back. This doesn't really tell me anything, because they were going to call him and tell him yay or nay. So nothing yet. Which is pissing me off, because I like to know ahead of time what's going to happen. Now, the Ex was nice enough to mention to them during his first interview that he had this trip planned, but that doesn't mean they'll be nice and actually say, "All right - go to Brazil! We'll wait for ya!" I hope so, but you never know.
This trip is important to me because it's the first time the Ex will step foot in Brazil, and also, because it'll probably be my last trip with him. Realistically, I'm pretty sure I'll never see him again after I leave law school, so this trip would be a lovely last memory.
And before you say anything, I know, I know. This is all a little 'effed up. If I love Brazil so much, I should go by myself and not let his absence dampen my enjoyment. I know that.

But never fear. I will go to Brazil - that is definitely going to happen. See, I've always loved Portuguese, and Brazil, and I wondered, why can't I go and learn Portuguese in Brazil? I know, I'm graduating in a couple months. Graduation is in May. But the thing is, I'm going to take 1 class this summer. And the Attorney State Bar is in summer. So obviously I can't take it (I have to be completely done with school before I can take the Bar). So I have wait until the next one, which is in February 2009. So I have to figure out what to do during July, August, September, October, November, December, and January. Since I can't get hired as an attorney, then I'll be stuck doing something else (hopefully law related) until February. But then I thought, "Hey, instead of shuffling paperwork for people at a law firm, why don't I go to Brazil, learn a new language (which is great for my resume), and get to enjoy meeting new people?" Soooo, after thinking for maybe 0.5 seconds, I thought, Brazil it is.
So yeah. I'm getting out of here in July or August and not coming back until I need to take the Bar. Obviously, I'll be studying for it over there, but hey, I'm in Brazil! Now, the details aren't set in stone yet, but from the preliminary talks we've had with people over there, I don't think it'll be too difficult, and tuition isn't too expensive either.
So yay! I'm excited. This certainly helps soothe my sadness if I don't get to go to Brazil next week. And you know, this whole Brazil plan wouldn't have happened if I was still dating my Ex. In short, he thinks traveling is a waste of money, and I shouldn't be throwing away time doing that. Instead I should be chasing jobs and working like a maniac. And hey, that's the way he thinks and if that makes him happy, kudos to him. But I am NOT that way at ALL. And I'm sick and tired of being made to feel irresponsible and lazy and wasteful because I want to travel. See, my perspective is as follows: I have certain goals I want to achieve in my life (such as traveling, homeschooling my kids, living somewhere where I can have chickens and goats and big dogs, and my neighbors won't be bitching about that) and I think my job should help me reach those goals, instead of hindering me. As lovely as it would be to have a job I absolutely adore, honestly, you all know that rarely happens. And that's okay. As long as my job allows me to pursue my goals, then I'll be happy. So therefore, I won't be a person chasing after a six figure salary (because you all know the amount of work and sacrifice that comes with such high income).

And before you all start thinking that I'll end up starving to death selling burgers at McDonalds, let me assure you, I know exactly what I'm going to do. I've always known that if I went into law school, my ultimate goal would be to have my own practice. I absolutely HATE working in teams, so I would shrivel up and die if I had to work in a large firm. I'm sure there are places that have lovely co-workers, and that's great, but I've always been someone who prefers to work by themselves, and prefers to be the leader. So private practice it is. And for a while I thought I should work in larger firms for the first couple of years before getting my own practice. But thinking things through, I've come to realize I don't have to do that if I don't want to. See, back in undergrad, I started a business with my parents. Our clientele is mostly Latinos who live in the area. And it's been 7 years since it has started, and now we have two offices, and enough clients to keep us well fed and pay our employees. One of the reasons I came to law school is because so many of our clients need a lawyer desperately, but there aren't too many lawyers in the area, and also, there is NO ONE who speaks Spanish. No one. So if I go back there and set up my practice, I'd have a ton of clients who are looking for a Spanish attorney. For a while, I thought doing that would just be living off my parents' work, but that's not true. I worked my ass off for that business during undergrad, and so I don't think I'm living off their work - I'm just taking advantage of something I helped start. And besides, not many lawyers who start their private practice already have clients waiting. But I do. And I think it would be smart of me to take advantage of this opportunity.
The only downside is that our business is in a rural area, and the nearest BIG city (Chicago) is 3 hours away. I've grown to love being able to hop in my car and drive 10 minutes to an award-winning restaurant, or drive 15 minutes into downtown to see a popular band play, but in the long run, I don't want to live in the city. So what's wrong with starting my career EXACTLY where I want to end up in the next 6-10 years? It almost seems too easy - I've always thought I'd have to fight and sweat and cry during the next couple years until I reached a position I actually liked. But I realize now that the perfect job was right under my nose the entire time.

So that's that. My computer is dying, so I'd better turn it off, and this entry is already long enough. I know most of my readers are people that already have started the whole "career" thing, so if you have any thoughts or suggestions, I would really appreciate it. I've talked to a couple of my mentors here, and they seem very excited about my plans, so I hope it's the right thing to do and that I'll end up enjoying it very much. So, ciao, and catch ya later!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Felicitaciones creo que has tomado la mejor decision de tu vida. No estas tomando ventaja de nuestro trabajo. al contrario este trabajo esta esperandote desde hace mucho tiempo. Tu fuieste un pricipal miembro en la edificacion de este negocio. ahora tienes el priviligio de seguir adelante y lograr los deseos de tu corazon.

roron

Jessie said...

You know, it's kinda funny. I was thinking of what I want to do, you know, when I get past my AA, and I settled on Classics. Of course, god forbid you ask the department head at another college what steps you need take to get there, because they're useless. Go Team Emory. Really. But I want to do something about them. I so love the Greek and Roman histories. More than any other version. I picked World Civ I for that very reason this semester.

Because what all that means is that if you've found where you'll be happy, then go for it. Don't do what's expected just because it was. Do it what you want because it'll make you happy in the end. If you dread work every day, if you dread having to do everything, then you'll never feel happy. If you're going to end up eventually where you can start, go from there. If something doesn't work out alone, you can join a firm, or team up with someone else. There's a ton of options.

If you go to Brazil during that time, then who will watch the puggies? Your parents? Or would they go with you?

Pug & I said...

Jessie,
Thanks for your comments - I agree that I should be doing something that makes me happy. Of course, I'd be the happiest doing stuff like being a clothing designer, but that's okay - I'm picking something that I think I will enjoy in the field I chose to study in. And who's to stop me from designing my own clothes? Or my house, or decor? No one. Which means I can still indulge in one of my favorite hobbies.
But that's off track there. As for the puggies, they'll be with my parents - they've promised to be extra extra careful with my babies, so yeah. I'll miss the little bastards, though.

Jessie said...

I can understand the clothing designer. I wanted to be one for the 14-27 women age range. God knows it's never pretty looking like Granny Grunt Grunt just cause you're plus sized. Actually, I was accepted into Bauder in Atlanta. And think of it this way, by going to law school, if you do get into the design field (because it's such a wide stretch) you can take care of your business, or have direct contact with people you would trust to help. Makes sense, really. Better to know your ins and outs first. Sometimes it's better to keep a hobby just that, so you don't regret having to do it day in and out.

Oh, man. You're gonna be so homesick for them. You get used to them waking you up with that grunt. And when you get back, you'll love 'em to pieces. And spoil them rotten. Which is never bad in pugland. Though expect to be on the low end of the person list for a long time after you get back. Puggies are known to keep grudges.

Pug & I said...

Jessie,
You know, it's strange but I think I'd rather keep the things I really love doing (traveling, design) as a hobby rather than a job. Because like you said, I don't want to have to deal with the stress of doing it every day.
As for the puggies, yeah, I'm gonna miss 'em. And I am definitely expecting to be ignored when I get back - especially from Babar. He gets mad at me if I don't get home early - just imagine 6 months without the little fella. Aww, boo. Now I feel bad. :)

Jessie said...

I can completely understand the desire to keep hobbies just that. That's why I don't write for a living, even though I'm reasonably sure I couldn't do any worse than most Harlequin romances. Though, without the romance part and more supernatural. But the same quick books. I just don't want to make it my life's work, ending up resenting the thing that makes me feel good about myself. Sometimes it's better to have the passenger, rather than being the engineer for it.

Wrinkles is still pouting for that couple days Mama was at the hospital. She turns that butt away and ignores to the nth degree. They sure did get the stubborn gene in spades. Bribe him with treats. Lots of them. He'll forgive you. Food is a good pug motivator. *grins* Just ask Alpo Wrinkles. Bribing is key in getting her to listen.

pinkbowshoe said...

I love this entry! Your goals are beautiful and similar to what my goals were when I wrote them out back in high school. I think I still have 1/2 of my goals left? Some of the goals were travel. I finally saw NYC thanks to the husband. I love that your goal isn't to make a six figure salary or to jump to some big firm. Your goal is personal and I just love them!

A lot of times going through life we don't see those things. We're blinded by money and greed. Traveling is such a fun thing to do. it's a great experience and enriching to the mind and spirit. I'm glad your ex is your ex. from what you wrote, it seems that you were uncompatible anyway.

I'm 2 classes and student teaching away from grad school and I feel that i've made this jump only to be unhapy yet again in another job. You hit the nail on the head. We say and think our job will make us happy. But a job cannot and realy wasn't supposed to make you happy. The things we do with the ones we love is what makes us happy. and you've put that first in your life and that's such a wonderful thing.

Pug & I said...

Jessie,
I totally agree with you about the whole "sure, I can write trashy romance novels and live off that, but will that make me happy?". If that was my legacy, I'd probably roll over in my grave (or however that saying goes). :)
As for design, it's something I feel about so strongly, that I'm very liable to bat my client over the head if he disagrees with my professional opinion. :) Ha ha...so not doing that for a living. Nope. Well, not right now anyway.

pinkbowshoe,
Thanks for the lovely comments - they really mean a lot to me. Maybe it's because I've been living and talking with aggressive, overachieving law students for too long, but I'm scared of talking about my goals with anyone because they will all go, "What?! You DON'T want a six figure salary? What is WRONG with you?" Yeah. It's the law school. It turns everyone into greedy monsters.
I think the good thing about me is that I've never been a greedy person - I've always been happy making other people happy (which I carry too far sometimes and become their doormat), so I don't think I'll ever feel that desire to get money, no matter what it takes or who gets in the way.
And as far as traveling, I agree with you that it is not only fun, but important. I honestly believe that traveling from a young age has helped me understand people better and be more accepting. So I'm absolutely determined to get my children out and about if I possibly can, because it really does open your mind to different people and possibilities.
As far as my ex goes, yeah, with every day that passes, I see more clearly how different we are, and how much we would have hated each other in 10 years. We're not just different - we have conflicting beliefs on all the important things, like how to raise kids, earn money, spend money, etc. I would have killed him, I tell ya.
As far as your job goes, I really hope that works out - I can understand feeling like you've gotten so far only to end up doing something you don't really like. I sort of feel that way about law school sometimes - I'm nearly 150,000 in debt (stupid expensive tuition), and yet some days I hate law and I can just picture myself bashing my head on my desk after a day in court. On the other hand, some other days I actually find it fascinating and really like it. So hopefully, it wasn't a gigantic waste of money. And in the end, like you said, your job isn't supposed to make you happy - it's the people you love that make you happy. And that's really my focus.

Jessie said...

I don't mind the trashy romance novels, considering how many I read, but I couldn't force myself to write. I mean, if I eventually sell a series, that'd be great, but it's not a life's ambition. At least not at this point. Maybe in like 20 years.

I see what you did there. You became a lawyer so you know how to beat down customers and not land in jail. Very, very smart. *nods* Of course, I'm not in customer service because I have a tendency to people to please enjoy their ride down in Piss Off Land.